This was supposed to be a quick facebook post and then it grew into something too big to read in the space of time a facebook post deserves… so I just put it here, since I was WAY over due for putting something here.
Another morning, another rant:
You know what I really hate to see? Women saying how much they hate women because women are all catty and bitchy and backstabby and gossipy and men don’t play games like that.
Now, speaking as a women who has always had more male friends than female, I can say with a certainty that men are fully as capable of being catty, bitchy, backstabby and gossipy as women. In a few cases, I have been absolutely stunned at the level of bitchiness some of my male friends are capable of. And women are every bit as capable of being direct and hating to play games.
Here’s the breakdown:
1. You say you don’t like to play games like all those other women:
You ARE playing a game by making this statement. In fact, you know what you just did? You just stabbed an entire gender in the back. YOUR entire gender. You made a catty and bitchy comment about every other women alive, stabbed them in the back, and then gossiped about them. You just did exactly what you said you don’t do. And then you go on to mock their choice in shoes, clothing, and grooming habits. Yep, you are totally different from all those other catty bitches.
2. You are insulting men as well.
In order for this little scenario to work for you, every man alive has to be simple, loyal, and direct. Like a dog. You are not just lumping all women together and placing a negative label on THEM, you are lumping all MEN together and slapping a big, giant, too-dumb-to-be-anything-BUT-straightforward label on them. Men are not simple, and men are not all the same.
3. YOU are a misogynist
You are claiming you are “better” because you don’t “act like other women.”
That’s the basic message. That you are “better” than all other women. Why are you “better?” Because you’re more like a man than a woman? In order for being like a man to make you better than other women, men have to be “better” than women. Men are “different” from women, indeed (vive la différence!), but if you think being like your stereotypical man makes you “better” than other women, you ARE a misogynist.
4. You are messing with my friends.
I said above, I’ve always had more male friends than female. This is not because I’m “not like other women,” it’s because I like football and hockey and drinking beer and playing computer games and, while there are many many other women who like these same things, this does tend to put me in contact with more men than women.
And then… these “I’m not like other women” women show up, and start making comments about how their boobs won’t fit into a Victoria’s Secret bra, and how they’re so much better than other women because they don’t ACT like other women and because they just LOVE to perform [insert sexual act here] unlike OTHER women….
You know what… they’re my friends. If you want to claim you’re not like other women because you don’t like to play games like other women do… QUIT PLAYING YOUR STUPID GAMES WITH MY FRIENDS!!!
How bout a little sister-love, huh?
I used to BE a “I’m better because I’m not like other women” girl. Then I entered a profession where I spend a lot of time getting to know a lot of different kinds of people. And those girly-girl type women that I didn’t like? Turns out… they’re PEOPLE! Who knew? They like different things than I do, but they are not cardboard cutout-stereotypes. They can be smart and funny and kind – and yes, sometimes they’re horrible catty gossipy bitches. Just like some of my best male friends.